Ambil Kesempatan, Opportunist?

Ohai Earthlings!
Today, cik kuceng sedeh siot. Hari ni dua kali dah kena ambik kesempatan. Dari dua orang yang berbeza. Nothing new. Sobs.
Orang yang pertama ambik kesempatan atas kebaikkan dan ke-innocentnan diri ini. Orang dah buat baik, takde nye nak balas dengan baik. Memang susah la nak jumpa yang betul2 baik ni. Dah pupus kot. Mana taknya, orang dah punya baik bagi masa nak dekat 2 weeks buat kerja, dia siap mintak lambat hantar lagi. Oi cik akak, kita ni sama kelas. Ko punye schedule takde bezanya dengan aku. Workload aku lagi banyak sebab aku yang tolong prepare ape sume. Ko hanye pelu submit dan hantar on time. Tu pun susah ka?
Ni la problem bila kita ni sebaya dengan orang lain. Takde sense of respect. Why? Because takde profit dan keuntungan untuk ko respect orang sebaya kan? Tolong lah. Exam dah nak dekat. Memang ko literally hantar kat aku sehari seblum exam. Aku pun nak blajar. Takde masa aku nak tunggu korang siapkan. Elok la, aku tungkus lumus pegi siapkan kerja korang, korang pi blajaq. Aku firm nanti cakap aku tak considerate, cakap blum deadline, cakap aku gila kuasa. Aku memang tak sabar tunggu turn ko pulak jadik ketua. Tapi problemnya, ko pun penakut nak offer diri kan? Pastu cakap orang tak bagi peluang, bias apa bagai. Then rasa diri betul, taknak mengalah. Tolong sikit. Sedar la diri tu, sampai bila lagi ko nak blaja dan grow up. Everybody sebok dengan hal masing-masing, there's no one there to pamper you around and fulfil your needs. Wake up!
Orang seken ni pulak memang kasi aku sedeh la. It's true, people will only be kind to you if they have hidden motives and things to be benefitted from you. Aku tahu latar belakang aku macam mana, kira family aku ada kuasa dalam bidang2 begini. Aku pun tahu aku punya pndidikan macam mana. Aku mula2 ingat ko kawan dengan aku sincerely, aku cuba sangkal walaupun dalam hati aku, aku takut sangat benda ni betol. I thought that there is still hope out there. Sangkaan aku meleset sangat dan aku sangat kecewa. Ko ingat aku ni bodoh ke? Aku nampak je macam skema, tapi ko tak tahu aku punya pemikiran macam mana. Aku diam, tapi aku sangat observant. Ko kawan dengan aku sebab semata2 aku punya pointer kan? Kalau tak apasal masa exam ni baru ko nak carik maklumat dari aku? Then bila aku xda maklumat yang ko mintak, ko blah camtu je without any effort to carry the conversation. Nampak sangat ada sumthing kat sana. Then, kawan2 ko add aku bila ko dah jadik kawan aku. Ko ingat aku tak tahu ke, ko kawan dengan aku sebab ko nak pi tunjuk dengan kawan2 ko, yang ko bekawan dengan anak sumone yang powerful kan? Ni bukan tuduhan melulu ok. Benda ni banyak kali dah aku lalui sepanjang aku hidup ni. Dari orang tua, sampai ke cikgu, sampai ke kawan aku sendiri pun. Brapa kali dah aku lalui benda yang sama. Kawan ko pun, ada awek, tapi bila dapat tahu aku punya background, siap tag aku dalam post2 yang melibatkan dia dan family aku. Nak canang satu U yang dia kononnya rapat dengan aku dan family aku. Pfft. Ingat aku tak tahu? Thanks, because of you, I have a total of ZERO hope and trust for anyone now. Nampak saja alim bagai, tapi tak sangka macam ni jugak akhirnya. Sigh.
KUCENG BERKALER: Sigh sigh sigh. Masih ada ka manusia out there yang genuine and sincere? Bukannya susah.

Why so broken a?

The title says it all.
People, if you're going to act like you know how to speak the language, please don't. Don't get me wrong, trying to improve is OK, but the moment you start to show off when you don't even know some of the basic rules, you're making the grammar nazis die on the inside. 

Here are some of the things you want to pay a lil' bit of attention to:

Your is NOT equal to you're (you are)
His is NOT equal to he's (he is)
It means is NOT equal to its mean


That should keep you going. Showing off ain't cool when you don't do your homework.

#MEOW-MEOW: merawwwww. 

Rants on examinations and subjects

Ok. I'm so stressed out right now. But it's not my normal positive-stress-im-going-to-study kind of stress. This has become my negative-im-going-to-skip-reading-this kind of stress. FYI, my institute is kind of having  an examination week right now, and apparently everyone has been giving me the i-know-you-will-excel kind of look due to my previous scores. The thing is, I'm not that good. Really. The only reason I passed the test with extremely flying colours is because I like the subjects. I'm majoring in TESL (pardon me for my grammatically incorrect usage of English here, as long as you understand). The subjects that I learn before involves the usage of creative writing, literature, free essays and so on. All of them are English subjects. However, as I entered this whole new level, we're supposed to answer papers on English subjects AND educational subjects. Subjects like philosophy, child development is killing me. Especially philosophy. God, how I hated this subject. You have heard people saying, you've got to love what you learn in order to excel in it. Guess what, I tried and I'm in the stage where couples are having their mid-life crisis. Seriously, even the walls seem pretty interesting right now. How much I hate it? Up to the point that I took my time writing this entry, after months of abandoning this blog, just for the sake of cursing this subject. I know that there are a lot of facts-freak out there, but trust me, there are also a whole bunch of people who hated facts for death. One of them is me. I love concepts, I like things that involve me not memorizing things, but applying things. I mean, what's the point of you memorizing all those policies, acts, names of institutions, years, blah blah, and forgetting everything the moment you step out of that exam hall? It's like a food for those with memory capabilities. Robots. It's like asking a painter to learn logarithms. He has no need for that. Ok, maybe those who are in education fields do need these. But not for memorization purposes. No. Have these things written in some sort of handy guide books, so that you can refer to it when you need it, but the sake of helping to save the limited space in students' brains, please don't test it out. Sigh. There's four more years left for me to deal with these subjects. The only worthy things for me to keep on holding here are the English subjects. I'm pretty sure that my results this time around is going to be jeopardized because of these two subjects. Sighh.

#MEOW-MEOW: Wasted about 30 minutes of ranting. Exam is up on Monday. And I'm still in Chapter 1 since the last 3 hours.

KALER MERAH: Takut dengan lecturer

Assalamualaikum.

Hari ni aku pi jumpa sorang lecturer sebab aku in-charge subject tu. Aku tengok muka lecturer tu menjus semacam, takut jugak aku. Segan pun ada. Yang aku rasa devastated adalah bila aku perkenalkan diri aku dan tujuan aku jumpa dia, memang awkwarddd sesangat dan memang aku gagap la time tu. Dia tengok aku tergagap trus dia senyum. Pastu aku tak dapat tahan lagi aku cakap aku nebes..dia ketawa. Adoyai, apasal aku berubah jadi penakut ni? Kecik2 dulu aku la orang yang dicop paling berani dalam keluarga, dan aku la orang yang outspoken. Sejak aku masuk highschool la aku jadi penakut dan pemalu. Walaupun aku tahu orang tu takkan marah aku. Maybe ni perasaan takut aku kena rejection? Macam kene sindir dan sebagainya? Perasaan ni lahir bila aku slalu kena jawab dengan kasar oleh abah aku (kalu mud dia takbek dia jawab kasarla) dan tercetusnya ketakutan aku nak bertanya. Jadi sekarang ni kalau ada apa2, mesti aku kasi tau mak aku dulu dan bukannya bapak aku. Peliknya, sedangkan aku digelar sebagai anak emas kepada abah aku dulu2. Sekarang ni aku agak regret hubungan aku ngan dia tak macam dulu, walaupun aku tau dia care pasal aku. Abah, masa kita berdua suntuk. Tlg jgn sia2kan, aku taknak aku regret. Abah, plisla jangan jawab anakmu ini dengan kasar2, tengok, si anakmu ini dah jadi penakut dan introvert. :'( 

#MEOW-MEOW: Aku PERLU beranikan diri! Be confident!!!!