Changing to fit in with others

Halu. 
Remembered my entry on SUKA?

Well, here's the deal. Few days ago, I was in a dilemma or whether or not to chat up with him through FB. You know the saying, 'If you miss someone, tell them!'. Well, call me old-fashioned, but I am not really fond of the idea of a woman starting the conversation. But I was at the edge of despair, for I've been thinking lots about him and I kept on seeing his face everywhere that I go. So I thought, heck, might as well I go and say something. Just deviate a bit from my norm. Maybe it could change my life? So, I did. 

Ended up well for the first conversation, though. However, I noticed something. I am turning into this gigglish, flirty girl which I never have done before. Anddd I am of a more dominance position in that conversation. Guys normally tried hard to get me, but this? Seriously? Why am Ibecoming the one who tried harder? And now I am regretting my actions. 

I just can't 'connect' with this guy. Communication is the key to any relationship, and I have the feeling that we have a lonnnnggg way down that road. We are barely even reciprocating that talk. It is a one way conversation where I am asking all the questions. Yet, he seems to potray the idea of liking me back. He rarely talks to women so that's probably the reason why it is hard for both of us. I am going nuts over that problem and was hoping that he would loosen it up a bit. Either that or he was just not as interested in me. But what's up with the flirty chats? You are contradicting yourself and that's making me a very confused cat indeed. 

If I know we can't communicate well, so why bother trying? I don't know! That's what making me ballistic. Maybe it's the cant-have-the-toy theory? Or curiousity is building up inside, wanting to know whether I can get to know more of the person hiding behind this cute, shy and quiet guy? I hope curiousity won't end up killing the cat. 

And I am not sure if the fact that I am changing myself as a good or bad change. Am not even sure what I am initially. 

Advice, anyone? 

A late night drink

Today I drank a bottle of twister. It is an orange juice with fresh pulps. And yes, I am currently procrastinating in doing my assignment. 

On the plus side, that orange tasted good, though. 

Rants about SUKA

Susah penyakit hati ni. Erk. Penyakit hati? Apa tu? Cik Kuceng ada sakit ke?

Actually, term penyakit hati ni, aku letak untuk hati yang sentiasa teringat2 dengan benda yang buat kita asyik, sampai makan tak basah, minum tak lena. Eh?

Baru-baru ni, aku pun terkena kat penyakit hati ni. Ada sorang guy ni yang keep on making me think about him all day long. Sampai aku kadang2 tersengih2 sorang diri. Mesti korang pun penah kan? Takde? Eleh...tipu!

Nak kata aku rapat dengan dia, tak. Nak kata aku selalu cakap dengan dia, tak. Chat je pun penah, tapi tu pun sekerat dua. Tanya sepatah, jawab sepatah.

Tiba-tiba haritu masa orang main bola, aku terserempak dengan dia ni. He looked at me, nod, smiled, and said hi. Aduhai. Boleh jatuh aku time tu. Rasa macam scene drama, novel, semua ada.

Tambah lagi masa depa main, si dia ni score 2-3 kali nak habaq kat hampaa. Memang sangat cool la. Dah la dia ni jenis diam2, low profile je. Alahaii.

Penangan dia? Fuh. Sampai beberapa hari lepas tu dan sekarang. Dasyat kan? Kalau setakat macam tu pun dah macam ni sekali effect dia, hati aku memang serius dalam bahaya. Takut aku leka. Takut aku lalai. Tolong aku plis!