Conflicting Needs

Hey, have you ever have two different conflicting needs? Like the time you have to choose between two pair of shoes at a BATA store? Or perhaps the time when you need to decide whether you want to marry that girl of your dream? 

I have. 

A part of me wanted to be single, free to roam around the world, backpacking without people to worry about, do what I want, bungee-jumping, diving, and just see new places. 

A part of me wanted to have someone that I could love, fool around with, to listen for, twirling his hair while looking into his gorgeous eyes, to chat, to have cute children and cats together, all that stuffs. 

I wish I could meet such person, the person that would be able to relate to what I am saying, to what I am thinking, to share my passions, my interests. I envy Brad Pitt and Angelina. Not for their looks, but for what they have together. They are madly in love with each other and yet be able to do what they care for. I have yet to meet such person. 

While typing this, it suddenly strucks me. I was looking for the wrong person. I shouldn't look for the person that I simply have a crush on, or the ones that make my heart go wild even though I barely know him. I should go for the person that can fulfil and share my dreams. The person who would go backpacking with me. The person who would go for bungee jumping and sky diving, that sorts of fun. The person who would selfie with me when we travel across the globe and not be embarrassed about it. Well, you get the idea. 

So now, if you are trying to find your 'one', imagine him or her sharing your passions. Will they fit into the picture? Or are you finding yourself falling head over heels for someone who isn't? 

Changing to fit in with others

Halu. 
Remembered my entry on SUKA?

Well, here's the deal. Few days ago, I was in a dilemma or whether or not to chat up with him through FB. You know the saying, 'If you miss someone, tell them!'. Well, call me old-fashioned, but I am not really fond of the idea of a woman starting the conversation. But I was at the edge of despair, for I've been thinking lots about him and I kept on seeing his face everywhere that I go. So I thought, heck, might as well I go and say something. Just deviate a bit from my norm. Maybe it could change my life? So, I did. 

Ended up well for the first conversation, though. However, I noticed something. I am turning into this gigglish, flirty girl which I never have done before. Anddd I am of a more dominance position in that conversation. Guys normally tried hard to get me, but this? Seriously? Why am Ibecoming the one who tried harder? And now I am regretting my actions. 

I just can't 'connect' with this guy. Communication is the key to any relationship, and I have the feeling that we have a lonnnnggg way down that road. We are barely even reciprocating that talk. It is a one way conversation where I am asking all the questions. Yet, he seems to potray the idea of liking me back. He rarely talks to women so that's probably the reason why it is hard for both of us. I am going nuts over that problem and was hoping that he would loosen it up a bit. Either that or he was just not as interested in me. But what's up with the flirty chats? You are contradicting yourself and that's making me a very confused cat indeed. 

If I know we can't communicate well, so why bother trying? I don't know! That's what making me ballistic. Maybe it's the cant-have-the-toy theory? Or curiousity is building up inside, wanting to know whether I can get to know more of the person hiding behind this cute, shy and quiet guy? I hope curiousity won't end up killing the cat. 

And I am not sure if the fact that I am changing myself as a good or bad change. Am not even sure what I am initially. 

Advice, anyone? 

A late night drink

Today I drank a bottle of twister. It is an orange juice with fresh pulps. And yes, I am currently procrastinating in doing my assignment. 

On the plus side, that orange tasted good, though. 

Rants about SUKA

Susah penyakit hati ni. Erk. Penyakit hati? Apa tu? Cik Kuceng ada sakit ke?

Actually, term penyakit hati ni, aku letak untuk hati yang sentiasa teringat2 dengan benda yang buat kita asyik, sampai makan tak basah, minum tak lena. Eh?

Baru-baru ni, aku pun terkena kat penyakit hati ni. Ada sorang guy ni yang keep on making me think about him all day long. Sampai aku kadang2 tersengih2 sorang diri. Mesti korang pun penah kan? Takde? Eleh...tipu!

Nak kata aku rapat dengan dia, tak. Nak kata aku selalu cakap dengan dia, tak. Chat je pun penah, tapi tu pun sekerat dua. Tanya sepatah, jawab sepatah.

Tiba-tiba haritu masa orang main bola, aku terserempak dengan dia ni. He looked at me, nod, smiled, and said hi. Aduhai. Boleh jatuh aku time tu. Rasa macam scene drama, novel, semua ada.

Tambah lagi masa depa main, si dia ni score 2-3 kali nak habaq kat hampaa. Memang sangat cool la. Dah la dia ni jenis diam2, low profile je. Alahaii.

Penangan dia? Fuh. Sampai beberapa hari lepas tu dan sekarang. Dasyat kan? Kalau setakat macam tu pun dah macam ni sekali effect dia, hati aku memang serius dalam bahaya. Takut aku leka. Takut aku lalai. Tolong aku plis!

Basic belajar bawak kereta AUTO!

Ohai Earthlingsss! 

Sekarang ni aku sebenarnya tengah buat asaimen, tapi sebab aku boring teramat dan sekarang pun dah pukol 2 pagi, aku terfikir nak buat tutorial cara bawak kereta auto! 

Entry2 aku previously adalah berkisar tentang cara bawak kereta manual, so apa salahnya aku buat pasal auto pulak kan, since aku pun bawak kereta auto je sekarang hew2. 

Caution: Aku bukan certified driving instructor, aku hanyalah pemegang lesen P. Tapi tak salah nak kongsi ilmu kan. BUT! Please make sure, kalau korang takde lesen, hanya cuba ni dalam litar driving school anda dan di bawah pengawasan driving instructor anda! Lain la kalau ko sekarang pemegang lesen sah. Are we clear? Yes? Ok, let's go!

A. How to start up your car?
1. Pastikan gear anda kat 'P' untuk parking
2. Pusing kunci sampai enjin start and walah!

B. How to move forward?
1. Sekarang anda masih kat gear 'P'. Pijak pedal brake dengan kaki kanan sampai habis (hanya kaki kanan digunakan untuk kereta auto okehh, takde guna kaki kiri lagi)
2. Masuk gear D untuk drive
3. Lepaskan brake ikut kadar yang berpatutan dan kereta anda akan bergerak ke depan la. 

C. How to reverse? 
1. Sekarang anda kat gear 'P'. Pijak pedal brake sampai habis
2. Masuk gear reverse
3. Lepaskan brake ikut kadar berpatutan dan kereta anda akan reverse. Mudah kan?

D. How to stop at a traffic light?
1. Sekarang anda sedang gunakan gear D kan. Pijak brake slow2 sampaila anda berhenti kat traffic light tu.
2. Brake still pijak, tukarkan gear dari D ke N. Tak perlu tekan button gear pun takpe, terus je tolak. Kalau dah kat N, boleh lepaskan brake kalau permukaan jalan tak condong
3. Traffic light dah kaler hijau? Tukarkan gear dari N ke D dan kereta anda akan autometik bergerak ke depan (nama pun dah kereta auto kan)

E. How to park?
1. Sekarang anda sedang gunakan gear D dan memasuki petak parking. Pijak brake ikut kadar berpatutan sampaila anda fully stop kat parking
2. Brake still pijak, tukarkan gear dari D ke P untuk parking. 
3. Dah boleh lepas brake. Kalau rasa nak tarik brake tangan sebab permukaan jalan condong, boleh la tarik. 
4. Tutup air-cond, tutup radio. Then pusingkan kunci kereta untuk off enjin. Bukak pintu kereta, kunci, dan chow. 

Senangkan? Much easier than manual. Macam kereta mainan pun ada, kene main brake dan pedal pecut je, pastu parking, reverse. As simple as 1,2,3. hehe. Hope this helps! 

KUCENG BERKALER: Vroom vroommm~ 

New: Basic Belajar Kereta (Revamp Edition!)

Ohai Earthlings!
This post is a special edition for my fellow drivers-to-be! Previously, I have a post entitled 'Basic Belajar Kereta' and I've found that it had been a help to some of my readers. However, the post is consisted of different patches from different instructors. Now, as I am one of the legal drivers, I believe I can share with you guys my 5 cents in driving because I can see there are differences between theories that I've learnt during my early training days compared to me driving in the real, present time. So I believe, speaking from that perspective, you can get new insights on how to drive a car! 

Okay, before I proceed any further, this is a REMINDER. I am NOT a driving instructor, I'm just a P license driver who wants to share my knowledge in driving. If I'm wrong, correct me. If I'm right, glad that I can be of help. Remember, please seek help from those certified driving instructors. Are we clear? Okay, let's proceed! 

A. How to start up your car? 

1. Pastikan gear anda Neutral
2. Tekan pedal clutch all the way down
3. Pusingkan kunci untuk start engine and walahh! 

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B. How to start moving forward? 

1. Ok, kereta dah start kan?
2. Tekan pedal clutch all the way down
3. Masukkan gear 1
4. Kaki kiri masih tekan pedal clutch, kaki kanan sekarang tekan pedal brake (utk elak kereta ke depan)
5. Untuk move forward, kaki kanan lepaskan pedal brake dan move ke pedal pecut slowly while kaki kiri slowly lepaskan pedal clutch (seimbangkan dahulu pedal clutch dan pedal pecut)
6. Dah stabil? Boleh slowly release pedal clutch fully and you are ready to go!

Note: Kalau clutch dilepas tanpa tekan sikit pedal pecut, enjin kereta akan mati (If clutch is let go without giving the engine some gas, the car will stall). Oh ya, pastikan handbrake anda tak ditarik ye. 

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C. How to change your gear?

1. Okay, katalah anda masih di gear 1 dan anda nak tukar ke gear 2. Kereta tengah moving forward slowly
2. Tekan pedal clutch fully. Pastikan kaki TAK sentuh pedal pecut langsung.
3. Tukar gear kat gear box dari 1 ke 2
4. Kaki kiri lepaskan pedal clutch slowly dan pada masa yang sama kaki kanan pijak pedal pecut slowly. Seimbangkan.
5. Dah stabil? Boleh lepaskan pedal clutch fully tapi kaki kiri masih press pedal pecut secara berpatutan6. Nak tukar lagi ke gear lebih atas? Ulanglah cara di atas :)
7. Nak tukar lagi ke gear yang lebih bawah? Ulang jugak cara di atas tapi masuk gear yang bawah la.

Note: Kalau tukar gear, but satu-satu. Macam gear 1 ke 2, gear 2 ke 3, gear 3 ke 4, etc. Or gear 4 ke 3, gear 3 ke 2, gear 2 ke 1 dan seterusnya. 

Note: Bila masa sesuai tukar gear? Kalau aku tak silap laaa (since sekarang aku bawak auto je hew2). Meh aku bagi 3 cara, meh. 

A) Kalau awal2 tu memang gear 1. Dah cecah 15km/h, tukar la ke gear 2. Kalau dah cecah 30km/hr,
tukar ke gear 3. Kalau cecah 40km/hr, tukar ke gear 4. Kalau cecah 60km/hr, pi tukar gear 5.
B) Nak senang lagi, ingat la nombor awal dia. gear 1 = 10. gear 2 = 20. dan seterusnya.
C) Tak nak tengok nombor kat dashboard or rosak? Ikot la feel or instinct mu itu haha. Sebab kalau anda perasan, kalau bunyi kereta manual dah macam meragam (bunyi dia mengaum kuat je and body kereta pun rasa heavy), ertinya kena la tukar gear lebih tinggi. 

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D. How to masuk simpang? (haha)

1. Kereta anda sedang bergerak sekarang ni. Kalau anda dalam gear lain, tukar gradually sampai ke gear 2.
2. Dah nak dekat simpang, tekan signal light (dulu cikgu aku pesan, mesti bagi signal dulu before kereta stop)
3. Untuk stop temporarily, tekan pedal clutch fully secara gradually, sambil diiringi oleh pedal brake
4. Tunggu turn anda untuk masuk ke simpang. Takde kereta kiri kanan?
5. Untuk move forward, kaki kiri masih tekan pedal clutch, kaki kanan lepaskan pedal brake dan tekan pedal pecut slowly sambil diseimbangi oleh pedal clutch. (step how to move forward tadi la)
6. Dah masuk simpang barulah boleh tukar gear ke gear yang berpatutan. 

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D) How to stop your car?

1. Okay, dah puas jalan2? Now nak stop kan kereta. Katakan la anda kat gear 4 sekarang ni2. Tukar2 gear sampai anda ke gear 2 ikot cara yang dah diajar kat atas. Xyah sampai gear 1
3. Now tekan pedal clutch dengan kaki kiri fully, diikuti dengan pedal brake fully dengan kaki kanan. Jangan la tekan mengejut, secara gradually.
4. Kereta dah stop? Good. Jangan lepaskan dulu. Tukar gear 2 anda ke 1, dan akhirnya ke neutral. Kalau nak tarik handbrake kalau jalan tak sekata pun okey jugak. Now boleh la lepaskan kaki2 anda tu.
5. Pusing kunci dan off. 

Okey, aku ajar sampai sini je. cukupla basic sebasicnya ni kan? kalau yang untuk test tu, boleh la tanye cegu2 korang kat driving school. Ingat tau, kalau anda tak ada lesen, pastikan anda hanya drive dibawah pengawasan orang yang sepatutnya. 
Cara2 aku ni boleh la dipraktikkan masa korang berlatih kat dalam litar driving school tu. Or lepas anda ambil lesen P, tapi masih tak sure lagi. 

Jangan gatal nak pegi melaram sorang2 kat jalan raya kalau xdak lesen. Kot2 nama kena blacklist oleh JPJ, tak sempat ambil lesen. Tu okey lagi, jangan nyawa anda dan nyawa orang lain yang tak bersalah dibahayakan. Peace! :) 

Ambil Kesempatan, Opportunist?

Ohai Earthlings!
Today, cik kuceng sedeh siot. Hari ni dua kali dah kena ambik kesempatan. Dari dua orang yang berbeza. Nothing new. Sobs.
Orang yang pertama ambik kesempatan atas kebaikkan dan ke-innocentnan diri ini. Orang dah buat baik, takde nye nak balas dengan baik. Memang susah la nak jumpa yang betul2 baik ni. Dah pupus kot. Mana taknya, orang dah punya baik bagi masa nak dekat 2 weeks buat kerja, dia siap mintak lambat hantar lagi. Oi cik akak, kita ni sama kelas. Ko punye schedule takde bezanya dengan aku. Workload aku lagi banyak sebab aku yang tolong prepare ape sume. Ko hanye pelu submit dan hantar on time. Tu pun susah ka?
Ni la problem bila kita ni sebaya dengan orang lain. Takde sense of respect. Why? Because takde profit dan keuntungan untuk ko respect orang sebaya kan? Tolong lah. Exam dah nak dekat. Memang ko literally hantar kat aku sehari seblum exam. Aku pun nak blajar. Takde masa aku nak tunggu korang siapkan. Elok la, aku tungkus lumus pegi siapkan kerja korang, korang pi blajaq. Aku firm nanti cakap aku tak considerate, cakap blum deadline, cakap aku gila kuasa. Aku memang tak sabar tunggu turn ko pulak jadik ketua. Tapi problemnya, ko pun penakut nak offer diri kan? Pastu cakap orang tak bagi peluang, bias apa bagai. Then rasa diri betul, taknak mengalah. Tolong sikit. Sedar la diri tu, sampai bila lagi ko nak blaja dan grow up. Everybody sebok dengan hal masing-masing, there's no one there to pamper you around and fulfil your needs. Wake up!
Orang seken ni pulak memang kasi aku sedeh la. It's true, people will only be kind to you if they have hidden motives and things to be benefitted from you. Aku tahu latar belakang aku macam mana, kira family aku ada kuasa dalam bidang2 begini. Aku pun tahu aku punya pndidikan macam mana. Aku mula2 ingat ko kawan dengan aku sincerely, aku cuba sangkal walaupun dalam hati aku, aku takut sangat benda ni betol. I thought that there is still hope out there. Sangkaan aku meleset sangat dan aku sangat kecewa. Ko ingat aku ni bodoh ke? Aku nampak je macam skema, tapi ko tak tahu aku punya pemikiran macam mana. Aku diam, tapi aku sangat observant. Ko kawan dengan aku sebab semata2 aku punya pointer kan? Kalau tak apasal masa exam ni baru ko nak carik maklumat dari aku? Then bila aku xda maklumat yang ko mintak, ko blah camtu je without any effort to carry the conversation. Nampak sangat ada sumthing kat sana. Then, kawan2 ko add aku bila ko dah jadik kawan aku. Ko ingat aku tak tahu ke, ko kawan dengan aku sebab ko nak pi tunjuk dengan kawan2 ko, yang ko bekawan dengan anak sumone yang powerful kan? Ni bukan tuduhan melulu ok. Benda ni banyak kali dah aku lalui sepanjang aku hidup ni. Dari orang tua, sampai ke cikgu, sampai ke kawan aku sendiri pun. Brapa kali dah aku lalui benda yang sama. Kawan ko pun, ada awek, tapi bila dapat tahu aku punya background, siap tag aku dalam post2 yang melibatkan dia dan family aku. Nak canang satu U yang dia kononnya rapat dengan aku dan family aku. Pfft. Ingat aku tak tahu? Thanks, because of you, I have a total of ZERO hope and trust for anyone now. Nampak saja alim bagai, tapi tak sangka macam ni jugak akhirnya. Sigh.
KUCENG BERKALER: Sigh sigh sigh. Masih ada ka manusia out there yang genuine and sincere? Bukannya susah.